i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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