we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
40s are totally the cure
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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