She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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