Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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