mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
