took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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