so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
