A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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