I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
