Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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