I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
