she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
