I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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