i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
