Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
