just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
