No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
