I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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