dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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