at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Text me some of your sweat
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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