Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize