Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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