Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize