So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
