Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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