I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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