she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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