Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
