My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
