do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
