His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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