it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
