Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
