You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My liver just had a heart attack.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
