is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
