its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
