I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
