I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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