we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
