my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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