Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize