I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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