Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
