If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
