Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
