The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
