sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
