i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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