i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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