please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
