I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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