Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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