i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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