its not stalking. its research.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize