Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
