yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
