do herpes really smell.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
