I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize